


Kiss Me Under the Mistletoe

by Jld71



Series: Christmas Invitation [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Christmas, Jared & Jensen are the same age, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Mention of Homophobia - not by J2, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 11:52:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17120843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jld71/pseuds/Jld71
Summary: Jared and Jensen spend Christmas together. Jared decides to do what he can to make it special for Jensen.





	Kiss Me Under the Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sleepyvixen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepyvixen/gifts).



> Part 2 of Christmas Invitation  
> Author: jdl71/jld71  
> Artist: jdl71/jld71  
> Beta: wincest_whore  
> sleepyyvixen made a comment about Jensen being happy & creating his own family to replace the one that doesn't deserve him. This is the result of that.

 

Kiss Me Under the Mistletoe

 

They were standing in the main living area of the cabin, a few feet away from each other, just looking at each other. Neither spoke, neither dared to. Both felt the awkwardness growing between them. Jensen eyed Jared out of the corner of his eye as he turned his head to look around the room. It was a nice place, as far as cabins went. Not that he had a lot of experience being in cabins. This was actually the first one he had been in. He turned back to look at Jared and watched as Jared opened his mouth as if he was about to speak, only to snap it shut without saying a word. 

 

Now that Jensen was here, Jared was nervous. Really nervous. His hands were shaking and he was sweating. Jensen was here. Jensen was  _ here _ . And he had kissed Jensen. Jensen had kissed him back. They had  _ kissed _ . His mind kept screaming at him. He had what he had been wanting, Jensen. And everything was about to change. He forced himself to take a few deep breaths, hoping to stop himself from hyperventilating which would lead to him passing out. And wouldn’t that be embarrassing? Yeah, come spend Christmas with me. Let me kiss you. Oh and by the way, then I’ll just pass out on you. Way to show a guy how you feel about him; way to make Jensen feel special, he thought to himself. He ran his hands through his hair. It was a nervous habit. He knew that. Everyone knew that about him. He found himself looking around the room. He couldn’t look at Jensen. He couldn’t meet Jensen’s eyes. Because if he did, he’d lose himself in those vivid green orbs. Then he would spill his guts to Jensen and then Jensen would realize what an idiot he was. Because, he was an idiot. He had been dating someone so he wouldn’t be alone, so he wouldn’t pine over his roommate. Then, once he had broken up with said boyfriend, he had thrown himself into his classes to avoid his feelings for his roommate, Jensen. And he had ended up pushing his friends away and more importantly, Jensen. Now, here they were together and he wasn’t saying anything. Okay, Padalecki, man up and just talk to Jensen, he thought to himself. Jensen was here and he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t feel something between them. Jensen wouldn’t have driven all this way if he didn’t feel something other than friendship. Right? Oh God, maybe Jensen was only being a good friend because Jensen had found out from Chad that he was here alone. Maybe Jensen hadn’t actually kissed him back. Maybe that had all been in his mind and Jensen was only trying to break the kiss without hurting his feelings. And now, Jensen didn’t know how to break it to him that they were only friends or maybe only roommates and the kiss had been a mistake. He was such and idiot, he thought to himself. If he could have facepalmed himself he would have, but that would have only added to his embarrassment. He was already wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole just to end his misery.

 

Jensen furrowed his brows as he tried to figure out what Jared was doing; what Jared wanted from him. He was at a loss.

 

“So . . .” Jared said and winced at the sound of his own voice. It sounded high pitched to his ears. And he had no idea what he was about to say to Jensen. So, yeah, he was off to a great start.

 

“So,” Jensen responded as he rocked on the balls of his feet. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, trying to stop them from shaking. “Uhm . . .” Jensen let out and then dropped his gaze to the floor, because the floor was so much more interesting to look at in that moment than Jared. He felt himself blushing. God, he was blushing. And Jared would be able to see that. There was no way he would be able to hide the heat in his cheeks or the fact that the tips of his ears were probably pink. When Jared didn’t say anything, he forced himself to look up. “Ah, should I . . .” Jensen dropped his gaze back to the floor, too afraid to look at Jared. He swallowed several times as he tried to gather his courage to speak to Jared. He was confused. Jared had kissed him. And then he had kissed Jared back. But now, he was second guessing himself and the decision to come here. Jared wasn’t looking at him or speaking to him. Maybe he had read more into things. Maybe Jared had only wanted him there as a friend, nothing more, only someone to keep him company since he wasn’t spending the holiday with his family. Maybe once Jared had kissed him, Jared had realized that it wasn’t what he had wanted. Maybe he wasn’t what Jared wanted. Okay, he had to ask. He had to know. At least then he’d know what he had to deal with. He would figure out how to just be Jared’s friend or just his roommate. It would be hard, but he’d do it so he didn’t lose Jared. Losing Jared was something he didn’t know if he’d be able to deal with or get over and Jared wasn’t even his. Not that way. He sighed as he rubbed the back of his head. “Should I leave?” He asked as he forced himself to look up from the floor and look at Jared.  

 

Jared’s entire body tensed when he heard Jensen speaking. His head snapped up and his eyes met Jensen’s. “What? Why . . . why, do you want to leave?” His heart was beating fast in his chest. It felt like it was slamming so hard that he was sure Jensen could hear it hammering away. “I’m an idiot. I kissed you and you didn’t want that. And now I’ve made it awkward between us. You just want to be friends. Roommates. Or not now, and you probably want me to move out. Because I kissed you. I get it, you only came here as a friend. I’m so fucking stupid,” Jared said in a near whisper. He turned from Jensen, not wanting to see Jensen’s reaction or watch him as he walked out the door. It would hurt to hear Jensen’s car leave the driveway and he’d have to find a way to deal with the rejection. Then, he’d have to find somewhere else to live. He should have fought himself from kissing Jensen. Then he wouldn’t be in this mess. At least he would still have had a place to live. And, he’d still have Jensen, even if Jensen was only his roommate. 

 

“How about we back this whole conversation up?” Jensen offered. “Maybe we need to start over. Like with a kiss? Because I liked when you kissed me. I’ve been wanting you to do that since we first met.” He watched Jared’s reaction, waiting to see what Jared would do. 

 

Jared turned around so fast that he lost his footing and nearly fell on Jensen. Had he really heard what he thought he had heard? Jensen liked the kiss? Jensen had wanted him to kiss him since they had first met? “What? Why didn’t you say anything?” Jared asked in disbelief.

 

Jensen reached out and placed his hands on Jared’s chest, steadying him before they both toppled into each other and ended up sprawled on the floor. “Because you were seeing someone else and it would have been selfish of me to put that on you. And I didn’t think you liked me like that. I thought you just thought of me as your roommate, and maybe your friend.” He took a step back from Jared, giving them both some distance and a chance to clear his own head, because he really liked touching Jared. And he really wanted to kiss Jared or have Jared kiss him again. But, he needed a functioning brain in order to deal with things right now. Because he had no idea where he really stood with Jared. 

 

“It started out as you just being my roommate. But we kind of clicked and became friends. I thought you knew that.” Jared looked at Jensen and saw the hurt and uncertainty reflected in his green eyes before Jensen looked away from him. He silently cursed himself for putting that there. He had done that, made Jensen doubt their friendship, because he had pushed the man away when he hadn’t known how to deal with his feelings for Jensen. “Okay, so, I’m an idiot. I pushed you away. I didn’t bother to say anything to you before leaving. I thought you were going to spend Christmas with Chris and his family. I should have said something to you. I shouldn’t have just left like that. I’m sorry,” he said softly. He reached out to touch Jensen, but dropped his hand down to rest against his thigh, unsure if he should touch Jensen or if Jensen would even welcome his touch. “Maybe we should start over.” He saw the slight nod that Jensen gave him. This time he did reach out for Jensen. He wrapped his long fingers in Jensen’s jacket and pulled Jensen close to his body. Without any other thought to what he was about to do, he leaned in and captured Jensen’s lips with his. He managed to maneuver them so that Jensen’s back was against the cabin door. He wasn’t about to let Jensen go anywhere until his lips were kiss swollen again. Jared knew there was no way he was backing away from Jensen, not unless Jensen pushed him away. He pressed up against Jensen as he deepened the kiss, raising his hands to bracket Jensen between his body and the door. He kissed Jensen for all he was worth. He ran his tongue along the seam of Jensen’s lips, demanding access to the man’s mouth. He moaned as his tongue slipped into Jensen’s mouth. He closed his eyes, savoring the fact that he was actually here with Jensen and they were kissing. 

 

Kissing Jared felt right, like it was something that he should have been doing all along. He parted his lips, letting Jared’s tongue tangle with his own. He moaned at the feel of Jared’s muscular body pressing against him, pinning him against the door. He closed his eyes, enjoying the sensations that were running through his body. He raised his hands, carding his fingers through Jared’s soft hair. Just doing this was sending a signal of arousal to his brain. It had been over three years since he had been with anyone. If he didn’t stop now, he was going to come in his pants like an inexperienced teen; something he didn’t want to happen. He opened his eyes and groaned. Trying to spare himself any embarrassment, he dropped his hands to Jared’s chest and pushed lightly. “J . . . Jared,” he called out in a broken voice. “We . . . we should stop before things go too far and we can’t come back from that.” 

 

Jared gave a low whimper when Jensen pushed him away. He didn’t want to stop kissing the man. He wanted to kiss every inch of Jensen’s body. He didn’t want to stop until he had Jensen naked and underneath him; writhing and moaning his name, begging him for more. He nipped at Jensen’s lower lip before backing off. “Yeah,” he said as he looked into lust blown green eyes. He licked his lips, tasting Jensen on them and he wanted more. He leaned in again, pressing his body to Jensen’s. “No, we really shouldn’t,” he whispered into Jensen’s ear. He pulled away with a groan when he felt Jensen’s hands on his biceps. “God, I just want to keep kissing you. Make up for lost time.”

 

“And we will, once we figure things out.” Jensen managed to free himself from Jared’s hold and stepped away from him. “So, I guess I’m staying?” He raised an eyebrow at Jared, waiting for his response. He forced himself not to chuckle at the pout that was now marring Jared’s face. “Don’t pout, it hides your dimples.”

 

Jared tossed his head back and laughed. “Go get your stuff,” he said as he turned and walked into the second bedroom to make sure Jensen would have everything he needed for however long he chose to stay. The linens on the bed were fresh as well as the towels in the bathroom. Everything had been changed out in the cabin right before he had taken possession of it for the holiday break. He returned to the living room to find Jensen closing the door, his duffle bag still in his hand. “Hey,” he said as Jensen looked up and smiled at him. “Your room is right to the left. Next to mine,” Jared said and then blushed. Why was he blushing? It wasn’t like Jensen didn’t sleep in the room next to his in their apartment. This wasn’t something new, their sleeping arrangements. But, this was new between them, this budding romance.

 

“Thanks,” Jensen said as he passed by Jared to drop his bag onto the bed. He shed his jacket, tossing it onto the bed next to his bag. He looked around the room, trying to quiet his hammering heart. It was beating so fast, so hard that he thought everyone would be able to hear it in a five mile radius. He was so gone for Jared it was ridiculous. But, they had to talk first. He didn’t want to get hurt and he didn’t want to hurt Jared. Not bothering to unpack, Jensen walked out of the room to find Jared sitting on the couch, staring off into space. “Jared?” Jensen asked tentatively. He stepped closer and waited for Jared to respond to him. He wanted to sit next to Jared, but waited. He remained standing. His fingers flexed and he forced himself to not play with the hem of his shirt. He felt his nerves starting to get the best of him as the silence between them dragged on. Was Jared angry with him for putting a stop to what they had been engaging in earlier? Yes, he wanted Jared and clearly Jared had wanted him, judging by Jared’s reaction to him at the time. Jared had wanted him sexually as well. He just wasn’t one to have meaningless sex. He didn’t sleep around. If he slept with someone, it was because he loved that person and wanted to share that part of himself; to deepen their relationship. Maybe Jared had just wanted to get off. Maybe that was all that had been to Jared; the need for sex and nothing more. But something in the back of his mind told him otherwise. At least he hoped he was right. “Jared,” he called out again.

 

Hearing his name being called, Jared forced himself to give Jensen his attention. He looked up at the man standing in front of him and smiled. “Hey,” he breathed out.

 

“So, we should talk,” Jensen said as he rubbed at the back of his head.

 

Jared felt his stomach bottom out with Jensen’s words. The dreaded, ‘we should talk’. He hated the sound of the words and what they meant. He shook his head. “Yeah.” He looked down at his hands. They needed to deal with the inevitable.

 

Jensen sat down on the couch, leaving the middle cushion as a buffer between himself and Jared. “I don’t want to screw this up. I don’t want to lose my friend. So, you gotta tell me if I’m reading things between us right, so if you don’t really feel the same way about me, it’s okay. Do you just want a friends with benefits thing? Because if that’s what you want . . .” Jensen chewed his bottom lip as he found the courage to continue. “If that’s what you want, the answer’s no.” He closed his eyes as he drew in a deep breath. He opened his eyes as he exhaled. “I’m not interested in that.” He turned to look at Jared and saw that Jared was staring at him in disbelief. He wasn’t sure what the look meant. “I want more. If you don’t, I understand and don’t hold it against you. We can still be friends.” He offered Jared a weak smile. “You don’t have to worry about finding another place to live. I can just be your friend, if that’s all you want, or just a roommate,” Jensen said in a quiet but steady voice. Jensen couldn’t look at Jared as he spoke those words. As hard as they had been to say, they needed to be said. He didn’t want Jared to think that if he didn’t reciprocate his feelings that he would force him out of the apartment or stop being his friend.

 

Jared continued to stare at Jensen as he tried to process what the man had just said to him. “No! You’re definitely not reading things wrong. I’m not gonna lie,” Jared finally said after a few minutes had passed. “I definitely want to sleep with you, but I want so much more from you. I already feel like I’m in a relationship with you. That’s kind of why I broke it off with Evan. I felt like I was cheating on you.” Jared looked down at his hands, feeling vulnerable after admitting this to Jensen. He finally looked up at Jensen when Jensen placed a hand on his hands. Slowly he raised his hazel eyes as he looked into green ones. He saw care and hope in Jensen’s eyes. “So, what do we do now?” He asked, hope registering in his voice.

 

“Well, we see where this takes us, without losing our friendship.” Jensen gave Jared’s hands a slight squeeze before letting go. “So, why not go to Cabo with your family? Why stay here by yourself?”

 

Jared ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to gather his thoughts. “I didn’t want to spend the time answering questions about Evan. Where he was, how was he? I haven’t told my family that we broke up.” He raised his hand to stop Jensen from interrupting. “I know, I need to be honest, especially since it’s been over for awhile. It was just easier pretending than answering their questions of what went wrong. Nothing went wrong; he just wasn’t you,” Jared admitted. 

 

“Oh,” Jensen responded and then looked away, not knowing what to make of Jared’s admission. Jensen felt his heart sink to his feet at that; Jared keeping secrets. He didn’t want to be a secret that Jared kept.  

 

“I’ll tell them everything. Especially about you.” Jared beamed a Jensen, his dimples out in full force. “Now, can I kiss you again?” Jared’s voice was low, deep sounding with desire.

 

Jensen smiled shyly at the man sitting only a few feet away from him on the opposite side of the couch. “Yes,” he said as he scooted closer, meeting Jared halfway. He felt a flutter in the pit of his stomach as he leaned forward and allowed Jared to capture his lips. The kiss started out soft, chaste and then began to intensify, taking his breath away. 

 

“God, Jen . . .” Jared groaned out. He reached up and carded his fingers through Jensen’s cropped hair. He had been wanting to do that since he could remember, along with kissing those sinful lips. He pulled back, nuzzling at Jensen’s neck when he remembered what Jensen had told him; they had to go slow. He felt Jensen’s hand on his bicep, holding him, almost if Jensen’s hand was anchoring them to each other. His skin, even under the fabric of his shirt, seemed to tingle from Jensen’s touch. He shivered from it as he sat back, trying not to push Jensen in to more than he was clearly ready for. He cleared his throat and then pulled his phone out. He saw the puzzled look on Jensen’s face, but ignored it as he dialed a number and waited for the call to go through. “Hi, Mom,” Jared said. “No, everything’s good. The cabin is great. Look, I have to tell you something; the truth about why I didn’t go this year. You might not like hearing this. I lied to you about Evan.” He took a breath and then continued on. “I broke up with Evan, a while ago. I just didn’t want to tell you.” He looked over at Jensen. “It didn’t work out because he’s not the one I wanted. It’s Jensen. So, rather than tell you or have to face all the questions of what went wrong, I figured this was easier. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth.”

 

Jensen watched as Jared shook his head at something his mother must have said. He sat silently as Jared peered over at him. 

 

“No, I’m not alone. Jensen’s actually here with me. We’re spending Christmas together.” Again he nodded. “Yes, Mom, Jensen knows how I feel. We talked and he feels the same way about me.” He couldn’t hide the dimpled grin that crossed his face. “Yeah, Merry Christmas, love you, too.” He ended the call and looked at Jensen. “Apparently, my Mom said it was about time we got our shit together. She was afraid she was going to have to knock our heads together.” He threw back his head in laughter and was soon joined by Jensen.  

 

“Yeah well, I guess some moms know best,” Jensen said as the smile slipped from his face. 

 

Jared saw the hurt that passed over Jensen’s face before he pulled himself together. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“Nothing to talk about.” Jensen shrugged his shoulders. “My family kicked me out once I told them the truth. Let’s just drop the subject.” He ran a hand over the back of his neck, then raised his eyes to look at Jared. “I kind of started a side business with Felicia,” he said and laughed when Jared’s eyes widened in surprise. “I put together a project for one of my business classes; a way to pull in more business for an already established company to draw in more sales. I came up with coffee gift baskets. I aced the project and pitched it to Felicia. She loved it and offered to partner with me. It’s been up and running since the week before Thanksgiving.”

 

“That’s awesome! Why didn’t you tell me?” Jared closed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief at himself for asking the question. “Never mind, I know why. Still that’s really great. Are you going to continue it after Christmas?”

 

“Yeah, I’ve already talked to Felicia, we’re going to carry them throughout the year; running specials around the holidays. We only had one left when I closed up the other night.” Jensen was proud of his accomplishment. Especially after his family’s cutting words to him that he would never amount to anything. They had said much worse to him as they were throwing him out with only the clothes on his back. He had been born wrong, an abomination. He would burn in Hell for his sin of laying with another man. His father had screamed at him until he was red-faced. He had thought his father was going to strike him. His father had put his hands on him, forcing him out of the only home he had even known; separating him from his family. He had pleaded with his mother to stop what was happening. He had begged her not to turn her back on him. His mother had shed her tears, shook her head and told him she could never look at him again. His father had told him to never darken their doorstep again unless he wanted to find himself looking down the barrel of a shotgun. His sister and brother had watched silently as this transpired. He had been left with nothing but a broken heart. He had slept in a park until Christian and his parents had offered him a place to call home. He would forever be grateful to them for the kindness, love and acceptance they had shown him. Everything he had now, he had earned on his own. It was a source of pride for him; knowing that he managed on his own; he hadn’t let what his family had done to him drag him down.  

 

The rest of the night was filled with them catching up on what they had missed in each others lives. Jared realized how much he had really missed talking to Jensen; just hanging out and being himself. He didn’t have to pretend that he was happy; he was happy. Jensen settled into a comfortable silence as he listened to Jared talk about his classes and how he had woken up one day and realized Evan wasn’t the one. Before they knew it, the time had quickly passed by as they ate, talked and then finally wandered off to bed in their respective bedrooms, parting with a needy kiss that left them both wanting more.

 

With a groan, Jared rolled over onto his back. His thoughts were filled with the memories from the past few days. He was still in awe that Jensen wanted him as much as he wanted Jensen. He felt his dick hardening as he recalled kissing Jensen; pulling away from the man and seeing those sinful lips red and spit slicked. He forced himself up and into the bathroom. He needed to take care of business before he threw caution to the wind and jumped Jensen in the living room or the kitchen or anywhere else he could in the cabin. Once naked and in the shower, he let his hand trail down his stomach to his cock. He wrapped his long fingers around his hard flesh and began to gently stroke himself; imagining it was Jensen touching him, Jensen’s lips wrapped around his cock as Jensen sucked him down; imagined pushing into Jensen’s tight ass. He leaned under the spray, letting the hot water splash over his skin. His breath was coming in short pants, his chest was heaving as he felt his desire for Jensen build within him. He thumbed over the head of his cock, gathering the precome and using it to slick his fingers as his strokes increased in speed until his orgasm hit him, come spilling over his fingers as he grunted out Jensen’s name. He pitched forward as his legs buckled and he had to catch himself by placing his hands on the shower wall to stop himself from slamming face first. When he was able to see and stand again, he grabbed his soap and began to wash his body before switching to his shampoo for his hair. When he was washed, shaved and dressed, he stepped out of the bathroom and tidied up his room before going into the kitchen for breakfast. He was met by a familiar sight, a disheveled Jensen sipping coffee. “Morning,” he said quietly, knowing Jensen was not a morning person and it was best to refrain from any unnecessary conversation until Jensen had at least one cup of coffee coursing through his system.

 

Jensen looked over his cup of coffee at Jared. He grunted something resembling ‘morning’ in response to Jared before he went back to drinking his caffeine fix. He heard Jared chuckling at him, but chose to ignore him in favor of finishing his first cup of coffee and pouring himself a second one. He grabbed a cup and poured another, offering it to Jared. He sat on the couch, eyes closed sipping his second cup, enjoying the quiet of the cabin and the closeness he felt with Jared. When he finally decided to open his eyes, he saw Jared leaning up against the kitchen’s breakfast bar, watching him. He felt blood rush to his cheeks as Jared continued to watch him with a bemused smile on his lips and just a hint of his dimples showing. He broke eye contact with Jared, hoping his blush would disappear. He looked at the clock; it was nearly noontime and he hadn’t bothered to get dressed. “I’m gonna get dressed,” he muttered as he made his way to his bedroom, still clutching his coffee. 

 

Jared looked around the cabin. It was nicely decorated, but not for Christmas. He needed to change that. He needed this to be special for Jensen and himself. He had never pushed the subject of decorating for the holidays. He knew how Jensen felt about that, even if Jensen never said a word. Holidays were a source of pain for Jensen, just like his birthday. Jensen didn’t talk about it and he didn’t celebrate. Jensen always made sure he remembered everyone else’s birthday, but he was tight lipped about his own. The only reason he even knew when Jensen’s birthday was, was because he had overheard Chris wishing Jensen happy birthday. Jensen’s response had been that it was just another day, nothing special and to drop it. He knew Jensen’s reaction to things like holidays and his own birthday was because of what his family had done to him. He couldn’t imagine the pain Jensen felt knowing that his family had turned their backs on him because he was gay. So, he respected the way Jensen handled things and never pushed. But, this was going to be different for them. They were going to be spending Christmas together. This would be their first Christmas together and hoped it was the start of many more spent with Jensen.

 

“Jensen, I have to run out for a little while. I’ll see you in a bit,” Jared called over his shoulder as he left, not giving Jensen a chance to respond.

 

“Jared . . .” Jensen called out as he walked out of the bedroom he had been sleeping in. He made it to the front door as Jared’s SUV pulled out of the driveway. He scrunched his face up in confusion and shook his head in disbelief as he watched the vehicle disappear. There was nothing he could do to stop Jared. Feeling at a loss, he retreated back into the bedroom to dress. He sat on the edge of the bed, looking around the room. It felt strange being there in the cabin without Jared. True, it had only been twenty-four hours since he had arrived, but Jared had been with him the entire time. With a long sigh, he got up, pulled on his boots and then his jacket. With nothing to do and not interested in watching TV, he decided to go for a walk. He left a note for Jared in case Jared got back before he returned from his walk. He left the door unlocked and stood on the porch. He felt the crisp cold air hit his face as he made his way down the stairs to stand at the end of the driveway. Turning to his left, he followed the trampled snow path until he came to the picturesque beauty of the trees set against the winter white unblemished snow and the little bridge. He stopped, taking in the sight before him and then he smiled. This was the picture Jared had sent him. He stood there, not knowing how long, taking in the quietness of the area. It wasn’t until he noticed that he was shivering did he move from the area, continuing on past the bridge. He walked for awhile longer, letting the quiet of the woods settle over him before he turned and started the trek back to the cabin. By the time he had returned the sun was no longer over the cabin, indicating he had been gone well over two hours. He climbed the steps to the cabin’s door and reached for the doorknob, only to see the door being pulled open and Jared standing there in front of him. “Hey,” he said.

 

“Where have you been?” Jared asked, his voice sounding full of concern. “I’ve been back for over an hour. I was worried,” he said as he stepped aside, letting Jensen enter the cabin before closing the door behind them. 

 

“Sorry, I went for a walk. I left you a note. Guess I lost track of time,” Jensen offered with a sheepish smile. 

 

“Yeah, okay,” Jared said as he crowded into Jensen’s space. He leaned in and kissed Jensen’s lips. He cupped Jensen’s red cheeks, “You’re freezing. How long were you out there?” Jared asked as he wrapped his arms around Jensen’s body. He felt Jensen shrug against his embrace.

 

“Left right after you did.”

 

“That was over three hours ago,” Jared breathed out. “No wonder you’re so cold. Guess I’ll have to work on warming you up,” he said with a sly grin on his face. He pulled back from Jensen and took the other man’s hands in his, rubbing the cold flesh to warm Jensen’s finger. “Why don’t you go change into some warm clothes?” Jared asked as he let go of Jensen’s now warmer feeling hands. 

 

Jensen nodded and turned away from Jared, and then stopped when his eyes focused on the change to the cabin’s main living area. There was a small decorated Christmas tree in the corner near the set of doors that led out into the backyard. White lights twinkled against the green of the tree. He looked around to see that another string of white lights had been strung around the doors and a few snowflake decorations adorned the glass panels of the doors. It was simple, but breathtaking. “Jared, what did you do?” Jensen asked as he turned back to look at Jared, a look of shock on his face.

 

“Well, it’s Christmas. The first one where we’re actually together. I kind of wanted it to be special.” Jared turned to look at the simple decorations. “It’s stupid. I’ll take them down.” He moved toward them, hand outstretched to start taking down the snowflakes when he felt a hand on his arm.

 

“No, don’t. It is special. Thank you,” Jensen said softly. He felt tears pricking at his eyes and his breath hitched in his chest. It had been a long time since someone had done something like this for him. Even though they shared an apartment, he had never bothered to decorate for the holidays and it never seemed to bother Jared. Jared always left for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Jared had a family to spend time with. A family that wanted him. Whenever Jared asked him about Thanksgiving; how it was, he just told him it was good, relaxing. He never told Jared that he stayed in the apartment catching up on schoolwork or picking up a couple of extra shifts at  _ Coffee Roma _ . What would have been the point? The fact that he stayed behind already pissed Chris off. Jared would have only pitied him and he couldn’t take that. While he had Chris, his best friend from childhood, it just wasn’t the same as having his own family. Without Chris and his family, he would have had nothing. So, even though he still had a little hope that his own family would come around, he didn’t bother with decorating, or celebrating his birthday. If it wasn’t for the Kanes, he wouldn’t have even bothered with Christmas. But, he knew Chris would have kicked his ass if he didn’t come home with him. So, up until now, he always spent Christmas with the Kanes. Things like this were just too painful of a reminder of what he had lost.

 

“So, I um, I got us a Christmas dinner. If that’s okay,” Jared said as he looked at the floor. “I mean, I know you don’t like to . . . I just thought it would be nice. It’s just a ham with all the trimmings. There’s already steaks in the fridge. I thought we could just cook those tonight and then watch some cheesy Christmas movies. It is Christmas Eve, after all,” Jared managed to say in a breathless tone. He gave Jensen his most mournful puppy dog pleading eyes, hoping that would work in his favor. It always worked on his mother.

 

Jensen chuckled as he shook his head at Jared. Adorable was the only word he could use to describe Jared at that moment. He threw up his hands in defeat. “Whatever,” he mumbled good-naturedly. “But, I draw the line at leaving out a glass of milk and cookies for Santa. That’s just asking too much,” he grumbled with a smile on his face. “I guess I’m cooking?” 

 

“No, we’ll cook together. Or, at least I’ll help. I can be your assistant!” Jared offered, nearly jumping up and down with excitement. He didn’t cook. He tended to burn things, even toast. But, he wanted to do this with Jensen. This was beginning to feel like their official first date, at least to him. 

 

“O-okay,” Jensen replied tentatively, knowing Jared’s culinary skills were lacking. “Let me change, then I’ll figure something out,” he called over his shoulder as he disappeared into his bedroom. He reappeared, dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. He walked into the kitchen and pulled out the steaks. He pulled open the cabinets, looking for something he could use to make a marinade with. He found an unopened bottle of Italian salad dressing. “We’re in luck, it’s still good,” he said, holding up the bottle. “Grab a bowl, put the steaks in it and pour this over the steaks.” He handed the bottle to Jared. He opened the fridge and eyed the full ham dinner Jared had mentioned. All they would have to do was heat it up tomorrow. Now he had to find something to make with the steaks. He grabbed items to make a salad and turned back to Jared, stopping him from pouring the entire bottle over the steaks. “Wait, don’t use all of the dressing, we’ll need it for the salad.”

 

Jared nodded his head in acknowledgment that he had heard Jensen. They worked in comfortable silence. Jensen handed him a few items to chop and he added them to another bowl he had grabbed for the salad. He set the table while Jensen broiled the steaks. He grabbed two beers for them as Jensen pulled the finished steaks out of the oven and plated them. Jared grabbed his plate, added salad to it and sat at the table, waiting for Jensen to join him. They ate in a comfortable silence, only breaking it when he commented on the taste of the steak or to ask Jensen if he wanted another beer. Maybe later, after they cleaned up had been Jensen’s answer.

 

Jensen sat on the couch, TV remote in hand, flipping through channels trying to find something for them to watch. He finally settled on  _ The Santa Clause _ and accepted the offered second beer from Jared. As the movie and the night went on, he found that they had drifted closer to each other, their thighs and hands touching as they relaxed on the couch. He closed his eyes during one of the commercials, letting the happiness he was feeling settle over him. It had been a long time since he had felt this way; allowed himself to hope for more, to open himself up to the possibility that Jared wanted him, that Jared felt the same way. With the end of the movie, he gently extricated himself from Jared, leaned over and kissed him goodnight. “See you in the morning,” he said as he made his way into his bedroom for the night.

 

“You’re killing me,” Jared called after Jensen. He heard a soft chuckle and the click of the door as it was closed. He turned off the TV and pulled himself up to his full height. He stretched, working out the kinks in his muscles before disappearing into his room for the night. 

 

Sometime in the middle of the night, Jensen woke. He rolled over and sat up, thinking about the Christmas tree that Jared had gotten for them. He tossed aside the covers, padded over to his duffle and pulled out the present he had brought with him. Not bothering to turn a light on in the cabin, he made his way over to the tree and placed the present underneath it. He didn’t care if Jared hadn’t gotten him a present; he didn’t need one. He was spending Christmas with Jared, that was the best gift he could have asked for. He stood looking at the tree. Jared had left it plugged in and the soft white lights twinkled like stars in the darkness. He reached out to touch one of the tree branches. The tree was small, but Jared had made this one special for him. He retreated back to his room, settled down under the covers and drifted off to sleep. 

 

The ringing of his cell phone roused Jared from a restful sleep. He groaned, grabbed his pillow and buried his head underneath it, hoping the caller would get the hint. When the phone went silent, he breathed a sigh of relief. It was short lived as his phone began to ring again. He grabbed it. “What,” he breathed angrily into the phone. 

 

“Merry Christmas, Jay!” Chad yelled into his ear from the other end of the line.

 

“Why are you calling Chad?” He realized what Chad had said. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “Merry Christmas, Chad,” he replied sheepishly. 

 

“Are you okay? You sound off. I can cut my visit short with the family and spend time with you,” Chad offered sincerely.

 

“No, I’m good.”

 

“Really?” Chad asked, not bothering to hide his uncertainty.

 

“Really. I took your advice. I called Jensen, asked him to spend Christmas with me. And he’s here.” Had Jared been standing, he would have been jumping for joy. “We talked. Seems we do feel the same way about each other.” He felt the blood rushing to his cheeks and was thankful Chad couldn’t see him.

 

“Hmm,” Chad replied. “And?”

 

“And what? We’re taking it slow. Like painfully slow. But, he’s worth it.”

 

“Okay,” Chad replied with a chuckle. “You’re such a girl.”

 

“Shut up,” Jared muttered. “I gotta go. Merry Christmas, Chad.” Jared ended the call as Chad returned the sentiment to him. He got up, made his way into the bathroom to shower and dress for the day. He grabbed Jensen’s present and walked into the living area of the cabin. He could hear movement coming from the kitchen. He quickly deposited his present under the tree and noticed the one already sitting there. He smiled as he turned away from the tree and walked toward Jensen, only to stop when he heard Jensen’s cell phone ringing.

 

“Hey,” Jensen said into the phone. He looked up, phone against his ear and smiled at Jared before continuing his conversation. Chris, he mouthed to Jared. “Yeah man, I’m good. No, I’m not at the apartment. I’m spending Christmas with Jared in a cabin Jared rented.” He rubbed at the back of his neck and tried to brace himself for Chris’ reaction.

 

“Well, it’s about time that boy figured out you’re the best damn thing to happen to him,” Chris drawled from the other end of the phone. 

 

Jensen tossed his head back in laughter at Chris’ response. “Yeah, you’re right,” Jensen responded good-naturedly. There was no point in trying to persuade Chris from his own way of thinking. It was just easier to agree with Chris and move on from the subject. “Anything else, or did you just call to tell me how awesome I am?” Jensen teased.

 

“Yeah,” Chris said as he cleared his throat before growling into the line. “I was going to tear you a new one for spending Christmas alone, but it looks like Jared saved you from that. Merry Christmas, be happy,” Chris responded in a softer sounding tone.

 

“Yeah, Merry Christmas. I’ll call you later,” Jensen said as he ended the call. He still wore the same smile he had on his face when he had taken the call as he offered Jared a cup of coffee. “I made pancakes. Figured we could have those and then a late lunch or early dinner at some point. It won’t take long to heat the dinner you bought.”

 

“Thanks,” Jared said as he accepted the coffee. He placed the cup down on the breakfast bar and came around to grab a plate and load up on pancakes. As he turned to put his food down with his coffee, he grabbed Jensen, placing an arm around the other man’s waist. He pulled Jensen closer to him, Jensen’s back to his chest, and placed a soft kiss on the side of Jensen’s face. “Thanks for breakfast. Thanks for the coffee. Thanks for coming,” he said, punctuating each sentence with a soft kiss before breaking contact to sit and eat. When they were both done eating, Jared grabbed their plates and began to clean up. He stopped Jensen who stood to help. “I got this. You cooked,” he said with a dimpled grin at Jensen. “Go pick something for us to watch.” He motioned to the TV, then turned back to the sink. He heard Jensen clicking through the channels, stopping only when he found something of interest. He joined Jensen on the couch when he was finished with cleaning the kitchen.

 

As Jared sat down, his phone rang again. He didn’t bother to hold back the groan that escaped from his throat. Who the hell was calling now? All he wanted was to spend time with Jensen; to give Jensen his Christmas present. Was that so much to ask? He pulled out his phone and looked at the caller ID. His parents. There was no way he could ignore this call, not on Christmas Day. His mother would rip him a new one, after his father had gone up one side of him and down the other for upsetting his mother by not taking the call. He plastered a smile on his face and answered the phone. “Merry Christmas,” he said as he looked over at Jensen. “Hey, Mom, Dad. How are you? Enjoying Cabo?” He watched as the smile slipped from Jensen’s face.

 

Hearing Jared on the phone with his parents brought out the sense of loss he tried so hard to hide. Chris’ family always did their best to make him feel welcome and wanted during their family Christmas gathering. But, it was never the same as having what he had lost. He got up from the couch and walked into his bedroom, closing the door behind himself, wanting to give Jared some privacy to speak to his family. He heard Jared’s laughter as he sat down on the bed. He pulled out his phone and pulled up his childhood phone number, even though he still remembered it by heart. He hadn’t tried to call it since that fateful day. He had no idea if his parents had changed the number, not wanting him to be able to call home ever again. But maybe, today would be the day that changed things. He pressed the call button and listened as the line rang. He heard his mother’s voice from the other end of the line.

 

“Ackles’ residence, Merry Christmas.”

 

“Mom,” he whispered into the phone. “It’s Jensen.”

 

“Why are you calling?”

 

“It’s Christmas . . . I just wanted to hear your voice . . . and wish you a Merry Christmas.”

 

“Have you changed your ways? Are you still . . . a homosexual?” She choked out.

 

“Mom, please let’s not do this. Not today.”

 

“Answer the question,” she shot back at him.

 

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Nothing had changed, he could tell that now. This had been a mistake. “Yes. I’m seeing a really nice man. I think you’d like him,” he said wistfully.

 

“I highly doubt that,” she responded. “I’m hanging up now. I have company,” she said and then ended the call. 

 

Jensen looked down at the phone in his hand. At least he had tried. He wiped at his moist eyes. He refused to cry. Not today when on the other side of the door he could hear Jared’s happy voice chattering away to his family. He wasn’t going to let this affect the day Jared had planned for them. He looked up when he heard a knock at his door. He got up and opened it to find Jared standing there with his phone held out to him.

 

“My Mom wants to speak to you.” He offered Jensen an apologetic smile as he handed the phone to Jensen. He walked back to the couch, followed by Jensen.

 

“Hello? Mrs. Padalecki?” Jensen squeaked out. 

 

“Jensen, I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas. Jared is very . . . fond of you,” she chuckled as she spoke to him. “From what I gather, you seem to be fond of him as well.”

 

Jensen glanced at Jared and then down at the floor. “Yes, Mrs. Padalecki, I am.”

 

“Good. It’s about time. That other boy was all wrong for Jared. You’re the one for my son. I can feel it, and I’m never wrong about these things.”

 

Jensen felt his face begin to burn. He chewed his bottom lip, not knowing how to respond to what Jared’s mother had just said. “Thank you?”

 

“Merry Christmas, Jensen. We’ll see you at the next family gathering.”

 

“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Padalecki.” He handed the phone back to Jared and sat down on the couch, bewilderment coloring his features. He had just gone from being rejected by his own mother, again, to being accepted by Jared’s.  

 

“Mom, what did you say to Jensen?” Jared demanded as he looked over at Jensen. He had a feeling he was about to be apologizing to Jensen on behalf of his mother when he got off the phone.

 

“Nothing that should upset you. Your father and I, along with your brother and sister wish you both a Merry Christmas. We love you and just want you to be happy. I have a feeling Jensen is the source of your happiness and will continue to be for years to come. Call me when you’re back home. Love you,” she said as she ended the call, not giving Jared a chance to say another word.

 

“She hung up on me. She said she loved me and then hung up.” He turned to Jensen, saw the bemused smile that was now on his face and narrowed his eyes at Jensen. “What? What did she say to you?” 

 

“Nothing much,” Jensen said evasively. 

 

“What does that mean?” Jared asked hotly.

 

“Just that you’re very fond of me. Her words, not mine,” Jensen said with a laugh. “Then she told me that I was the one for you and that she’s never wrong about these things. Oh, and she invited me to the next family gathering.” He looked at Jared. Saw that Jared was turning three different shades of red and began to laugh.

 

“I’m going to kill her. Literally kill her. Then I’m going to salt & burn her body so she can’t come back to haunt me.” He shook his head in disbelief as he sat down next to Jensen on the couch. “I hate her.”

 

Jensen knocked his shoulder against Jared’s. “No you don’t. You love her and she loves you. Treasure that,” he said with a hint of sadness in his voice. 

Jared eyed the Christmas tree, the one with two presents underneath it. He moved slowly off the couch to stand in front of the tree. He picked up his present to Jensen and returned to the couch to stand in front of Jensen, holding out the small wrapped box as if it was an offering to Jensen.

 

Jensen looked up, wide green eyes taking in Jared before they came to rest on Jared’s hand and the gift Jared held out to him. “What . . . what’s that?” He asked, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Jared had a gift for him. There hadn’t been one there earlier, he was sure of it. 

 

“Merry Christmas,” Jared said as he nudged the gift into Jensen’s shaking hands. “Open it.” He beamed at Jensen, waiting for him to open the gift.

 

“Jared, you didn’t . . .” He was at a loss for words. He hadn’t expected anything from Jared.

 

“In three years, I’ve never not given you a Christmas gift. I’m not about to start now. I’ve had it for a bit. I saw it and thought it was perfect for you,” he said. The sound of his voice seemed high pitched to him; almost uncertain, but he pushed on. “I hope you like it.”

 

Jensen couldn’t meet Jared’s eyes as he began to unwrap the small box. He placed the ripped wrapping paper next to himself and opened the plain white box to reveal Jared’s gift, a silver chain with a guitar pick charm dangling from it. “I love it,” he whispered as he slipped it over his head. His fingers fiddled with the cool metal, running it between his thumb and forefinger. His heart skipped a beat at the thought that Jared had picked this out for him. “Thank you.” 

 

“You do?” Jared couldn’t hide the amazement in his voice. “I wasn’t sure . . . I thought it might make you uncomfortable.” Jared shrugged his shoulders non committedly. 

 

“Jared, I really love it. I mean it,” Jensen said sincerely.

 

“I saw it and it reminded me of you. Of some of the best times we’ve spent together, you just playing the guitar for me.” Jared smiled fondly at his memories of being together in their apartment, Jensen playing his guitar while Jared listened. Those times had been so easy between them before he had pushed Jensen away.

 

He stood up to meet Jared, to give him a kiss before he got the present he had picked out for Jared. “I got you this, Merry Christmas.” He offered Jared the present and watched as Jared smiled at him. 

 

Jared accepted the offered gift, never taking his eyes from Jensen’s outstretched hand. He tore the wrapping paper off, tossing it next to the discarded paper from Jensen’s gift, to reveal a leather-bound sketch book. His eyes lit up at the sight of it. He ran his fingers over the cover, feeling the softness of the brown leather. He pulled at the leather strap, sliding it out from the loop holding it closed. He flipped through the empty pages, imaging what he could draw to fill the pages. “Thanks, it’s perfect.” 

 

“You’re always sketching something on a napkin or whatever you can find. I figured you could use that to sketch in; keep them safe and all together.”

 

Jared flipped the book closed and placed it on the coffee table. He dug in his front pocket and pulled something out. Jared raised his hand above Jensen’s head. He smiled as green eyes looked at him in confusion, only to widen when Jensen realized what he held in his fingers; a sprig of mistletoe. 

 

“What is that?” Jensen groused, already knowing what was clutched in those long fingers. 

 

“Mistletoe,” Jared breathed out in a laugh. “Kiss me under the mistletoe,” he said as he leaned in closer to Jensen. “It’s tradition,” he whispered as his lips ghosted over Jensen’s.

 

Jensen rolled his eyes at Jared, but didn’t stop himself from leaning in and pressing his lips against Jared’s to kiss him. He gave a little gasp when Jared dropped his hand from over his head, placed both hands at his back, pulling him flush against Jared’s muscular chest and deepened their kiss. He brought his hands up and clasped one against Jared’s shoulder while the other fisted in Jared’s hair. He parted his lips, giving Jared’s tongue entrance to his mouth as their tongues tangled with each other’s. He pulled back, only when his lungs began to scream for oxygen. He heard a soft chuckle coming from Jared and then felt Jared’s lips and then teeth nuzzling against the column of his neck. 

 

Jared mouthed at Jensen’s neck, feeling the desire to suck the tender flesh in between his lips, to suck until he pulled Jensen’s blood to the surface, marking him as his. He bit down on the skin instead, then laved at the tender spot to soothe away any pain he may have caused Jensen. “Merry Christmas,” he whispered against the shell of Jensen’s ear. “So glad that you came, that you’re willing to give us a chance. Best Christmas gift, ever,” he said as he looked into the vivid green of Jensen’s eyes.

 

Jensen returned the look, locking eyes with Jared’s hazel orbs. He smiled shyly. “Yeah, for me too. Merry Christmas.”

  
  



End file.
